yes, i'm a freakin' drama queen.  but have i ever led you to believe otherwise?

let's call him sam.

after four years of not seeing and talking with each other, i saw sam again.  he was still the same sweet, funny guy i've been really good friends with... and loved my whole college life.  he has a girlfriend now.  and a med graduate.  it was his party.

"naks! doktor ka na! well, almost."  i gave him my biggest smile, and an even bigger hug.

"janine! na-miss na kita!"  he hugged me back and gave me a kiss.

hm... so that's why i never received a text nor call for four whole years...

"o, tara! kain na tayo.  if i know you, gutom ka na."

hahaha! it was just like old times.

sam and i became good friends during our first year in college.  mostly it had to do with both of us living in paranaque.  we moved in different circles.  our friends never liked each other.  but at the end of the day, we'd somehow find each other, and end up going home together. 

the first time he went to my house is one of the memories i will never forget.  he wanted to stay for a while, he had nothing to do at home.  but there was a sortof meeting inside the house, so we had to stay outside.  he suggested we go out to eat.  so i went inside and asked my mom if i could.  i didn't know he followed me.  when he saw my parents, he introduced himself, "good evening po mr. mrs pacheco (so formal di ba?).  ako po si sam.  kain lang po kami sa sucat ni janine.  balik din po kami agad."  it was the first and only time somebody ever did that, and i think it made a good impression on my mom.  since then onwards, my mom would never bug me to go home early once i tell her that i will be with sam, and he'll be bringing me home.  although i never told him about it, he seemed to know.  sometimes he'd just say, "sama ka na kasi.  sabihin mo sa mom mo, kasama mo naman ako! papayagan ka nun!"  hahaha!  my fail-safe excuse to stay out late.  and true tio his word he will bring me home within my curfew even if it means having to leave early, wherever we are.  this did not make me popular with his friends; but they hated my friends anyway, so i didn't care.  sam might have been caught in between at times, but he never made me feel that i was an inconvenience.

we've been through so much together.  coping with angry friends, all-nighter study sessions, failed subjects, crying session (i did the crying), broken hearts and swollen ankles.  he almost carried me down the stairs once because of the pain from my swollen feet.  only acute embarassment from being seen by other people prevented me from going through with it.  he half-carried-half-dragged me down the stairs instead so i could pretend i was still doing some of the walking.

one time on our way home, he decided to treat me for an early dinner.  he said he noticed i didn't eat much at lunch (the food i bought was spicy!  i couldn't eat it.), i must be starving.  honestly, i was.  but i had to protest, i didn't want to inconvenience him anymore than necessary.  he just smiled, "kanino ko pa gagawin 'to, wala naman akong girlfriend.  eh di sa friends ko na lang."  what i never told him though, was that the reason why i was never interested in having a boyfriend during college was because i already had him.  in a way, he was bad for me.  he spoiled me rotten.  he would open doors, pull out chairs, and hold my hand while crossing the street.  it's silly, but it was naturally him; and that made me loved him all the more.

i never really knew when it happened.  all of a sudden, i realized i was in love with him.  of course, me being me, i refused to let him know this.  every attempt on his part to bring up the subject was totally ridiculed.  at that time, everyone had noticed how close we were.  and everyone was suspecting something.  he tried to run it by me a couple of times, but i dissed it excessively all the time.  i was and will prolly always be in denial.

then one day, we just started to drift apart.  a couple of months later, he got himself a girlfriend.  it took a while for me to get used to the idea that he's with someone.  we never hold hands anymore.  we don't go home together.  he doesn't give me the usual hugs and kisses that he used to.  but he's happy.  i'm good with that.

the someone i wake up early for.
the someone i can't wait to go home to every night.
the someone i can stay up all night for.
the new object of my affection.

(new love/header=new love)

while at chowking...
ri: you're a damsel.
me: huh? a what?
ri: a damsel.
me: what exactly do you mean by that?
ri: like the type who like to be sundo't hatid sa house... be taken care of...
me: ah! gets.  hm... in my world, i call that spoiled.  but, damsel sounds a lot better...  makes me seem all girly and sweet.

tee-hee.

hang-ups only lasts until the next peron arrives.

you're motto therefore should be "next"

timer starts now...

oh gad! what have i done???

*breath*

sayang there's no rewind of life...

i want a replay.

here's the sitch.

ay! wait. segue muna. dapat may disclaimer. alam mo na yung laman nun. pero may disclaimer talaga ha? true yan!

hypothetical scenario. hypothetical.  meaning kathang-isip. so pwedeng may similarities sa real life mo, pero fiction lang sha. parang yung da vinci. hahaha!

sa ating hypothetical situation, si boy at si girl nag-uusap. dating chenes phase, na bordering on relationship pero not quite. again. rememebr the disclaimer. just in case you assume. think, hot pink elephant. ok na? back sa scenario. so, yan na yung setting. ito namang yung kailang fictional conversation.

guy: maybe you should start seeing other people.

girl: why naman?

guy: it's a great, big world out there. (kunwari hindi parang ang bading ng line na yan)

girl: i would if i want to, but i don't. do really want me to see other people?

guy: it's your choice. but if you do, ayaw ko na.

huwait! before anything else, let's ignore the fact na that statement sounds demanding. at least asking for more than what the sitch warrants.

pero, ito gets ko sa kanya: si guy is just looking for a way to ditch the girl without telling her outright na i quit you.

watcha think?

should i go for monogamy?

 to do so would mean avoiding all temptations (coz you can never can tell )

hell, why not?

sabi sa 'yo madali naman ako kausap eh...

i feel like i've been working for months and not the three days na talagang pinasok ko. siyet! i'm aching all over.  self-diagnosis: DOMS (delayed onset of muscle soreness). lumublob kaya ko sa hot tub? parang hot packs na rin yun di ba? hanap muna ko bath tub...

l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

i have 12 kids in my class right now. dapat 15 (which is my max), but there was reshuffling, so 12. OMG! they are soooo kulet! as in! story-telling, every page turned i have to bring order. i shouldn't to ask questions pala about them while reading because EVERYBODY wants to talk at the same time... and not stop. panalo di ba? and shempre, hawaan evermore. may isang makulet, sunod-sunod na ito. and when we're outside the classroom, everyone's so KSP. i laways hear a "teacher janine" somewhere in the background. pwede bang STOP! but i already have my favorites. i know. i'm evil. but some kids are just sooo adorably cute and bright.

winner pala our first day. lahat stage parents. mommy, daddy and yaya are present evermore complete with videocam! and shempre, everyone nakasunod in the room. although, they were nice enough naman to just stay by the door. we couldn't close the door nga lang. the videocams still on for posterity sake. pakeshet! angkalat ang face ko at kahihiyan sa isang doesnang vid cam (hm... tagal ko ng hindi use that expression ah! pakshet! pakshet! pakshet! fun! hahaha). we had to DRIVE them away. literally.

"ok, let's all say good bye to our mommies and daddies! babay!" sabay close ng door. blag!

l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

i have 5 regular patients in the clinic right now, from ages 2-25 years.  at lahat ito treated as pedia! hindi ko na kaya magstretch at magbuhat! PT is not a profession for the sedentary people. my quads and gluts are aching. so are my arms and low back.

l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

patient kiddie kanina was sooo sweet. we were stretching muscles of the inner thigh. so i asked him to sit on the mat with his legs in cross-sitting position but with the soles touching. tapos i just push down on the knees with my elbows. so i had to bend forwad, and was so very near his ear. bigla shang nag-kiss!

buti na lang, 7 years old ka pa lang. if you were older, malamang nasapak kita.

actually, he did that again when we were doing his obstacle course. in the middle of the activity, he asked (gestured... he doesn't talk much) me to come closer para mag-kiss. feeling ko style nya yun to take a break from the activity eh. pinahirapan ko ata mashado. hehehe...

l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

i have a scratch mark on my neck that was not caused by doing something fun. hu-hum. haven't been doing anything fun for quite a while.

ok, i'm stopping with this train of thought...