after almost 5 freaking days, we finally have lights.  gad.  now i know why people in the province sleeps so early.  when there's no electricity, there really is nothing better to do than sleep.

 l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

so, i was supposed to see ex again one of these days.  he wants to get the kitten from school, which honestly is sooo ok with me coz we don't keep them anyway.  they're just wawa.  unfortunately, he's giving it to another girl.  i have no idea who she is.  but i seriously can not see her.  i am masochistic, not suicidal.  eniweiz, things happened.  so, i'm off the hook (that put myself in in the first place! idiot.)

  l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

there are some things which you know you can avoid, but you still opt not to.  in spite of the glaringly visible sign saying "STOP".  do not enter unless you wish your heart broken into a million timy pieces coz there is just no good there and it will only leave you numb (if you're lucky).  but of course, being the naturally bright person that i am, i can't wait to jump the wagon (among other things... hehehe).  hm... now i know which neurons my occasional smoking kills....

  l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l

i have new phone!!! yey!  so, it's not nokia (which for a while has been the only phone for me).  and it's not globe either (sim-locked to smart. hmp.).   but i don't care.  i like it.  not as a phone though.  i like the pda functions, which is prolly what i'm gonna' use it for.  i can not aford to have another line.  my globe bill is bad enough.  but, i'ma happy.

i've been ignored girl lately.  what's up with that?  are we suppose not to talk about it anymore.  sure it sucked... but... you could always make up for it.  i won't hold it against you.  have i crossed the ego line by telling the truth?

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

paranoia.  i'm not really sure if i should start worrying... i was pretty sure naman. but i may be wrong...  oh God!  i just might be suicidal afterall.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

for the first time in my life, i did not get lost while trying out a new route.  been going to this place in ortigas via cab for like the longest time (i think around 5 or 6 times within the year).  i can't commute coz i don't know which fx to ride.  made a guess awhile ago, and you believe i got it right??  i even remember the streets (sortof)!  major achievement yan!  i'm perpetually lost all the time.  for the first time, i learned how to focus.  i can't multi-task pala with directions.  requires my 100% attention.  i think i may be borderline ADD, if there is such a thing.  i know i'm not ADD for sure.  i'm just not messed up too much.  not that having ADD would make you pretty fucked... that would be just me.  hahaha!  defensive.  working with my kind of kids sort of does that to you.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

we still don't have cable!!!  waaah!  i know.  it's not that biggie.. but i'm just sooo bored na in the house.  think Maslow.  ima done na with the baser needs (i.e. electricity and water), so moving on to bigger stuff --cable!  i'm sick and tired of watching channel 2 ever!  that's the only channel our fucked up tv gets.  i was able to listen to local news while covering in plastic around 20+ books (yes.  it's a fetish.  i like seeing my books all wrapped and shiny with plastic).  eniweiz, back to the news, there was this vice mayor who almost killed the mayor, or so the mayor claims.  and they presented this sortof like hello garci tape with the vice mayor telling the hit man to kill the mayor.  listening to the recording, it is soooo idiotic.  seriously.  who would say those kinds of things in a phone conversation when you're ordering someone assasinated?!  something like, "kayo na po talaga magiging mayor!  congratulations!" or "pagnapatay ko na po yada-yada".  idiotic.  that's why i don't like listening to local news.  not that world news is any better.  urgh!  let me live in my fantasy world.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

weirdness.  the OT in our clinic is friends with my long ago high school crushie.  the guy i pined for for 3 years!  it's a small world afterall...  hehehe...

there are three things in life you never should have to put up with.

1) abusive relationship.

2) bad sex.

3) bad service.

2 out of 3 sounds really bad.

Frogs & Princes (Natasha Bedingfield)

The in and out of dating got me all confused
I built up expectations and I'm feeling used
Seems that everybody's into fast food,
Everybody's into quick
I want some one to take the time fine dining not rushing

Now it's nearly 7:30, I'm slipping on a dress
I keep my fingers crossed, you're not like all the rest,
So when you come to pick me up come right to my door
Don't stay in your car and beep beep the horn

Baby I'm a hopeless romantic
You pick the sounds for the background to our drive into town
Baby don't be one of the traffic
Had too many nights with the wrong guys
Caught me at red lights

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Pull up to a premire, red carpet good
You take my coat, get my chair, like I hoped you would
You're funny and your flirting is really working for me
But where it goes from here
Better wait and see

Baby I'm a hopeless romantic
You pick the view to kiss to
Make me go ooo ooo
And baby it'll all turn out tragic
And you'll push for more
Back at my front door
More than I'm ready for

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

You gotta tip the waiter, that's how it works
You cant skip the starter and go straight to desert
You've gotta pop the cork before you taste the wine

is woah,
We get hooked up but the shame is
Too much connection followed by rejections
Gonna hurt a girl 'til she learns her lesson

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

Tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss
Before I find my prince, before I find my prince
All you girls that are going through this
Tell 'em how it is, tell 'em how it is

in spite of my good girl gone bad (by my standards) phase since last year, i will always love old fashioned romance.  i still adore being picked up from the house and brought home regardless how far my house is, guys opening doors for me, pulling chairs, the whole shebang.  it gives an extra *kilig*. 

actually just posted this for stephie.  ang nice noh???

On of the bullshits from the college:

Processing of pre-enlistment requests is NOT done on a first come first served basis but on a randomized prioritization. Nevertheless, you are advised to pre-enlist early to avoid the rush.

whataf-?!  what's the whole point of pre-enlisting then?  i have a friend who pre-enlisted erly, and she never got a subject.  suckiness.  just random ranting.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

oooh.  i have a lovah!

today's activity: a visit to the dentist.  my kids were sooo kulet as usual.  four were scared of the dentist, so maximized ang powers of persuation ko. hayay!  hirap maging mommy.  thank gad i don't have  a kid!  two needed major assurances that the dentist wouldn't be giving them injections or anything painful.  the dentist will only check their teeth for cavities.  the other one, i had to lie on the dental chair, have her lie over me, just so she'd let the dentist check!  good idea pala to bring my mom's stuff to school the other wek and have them play with real dental instruments.  at least she remembered the games.  so reminisce kami slight and kinda game na sha for check-up.  the other one was hopeless.  crying sesh ito.  may asthma pa!  di kinaya ng powers ko!  in fairness, she was traumatized for real i think.  she had plenty of stuff done na eh.

4 more days and the sem will be over! wo-hoo! 

martin scorsese rocks!

the departed was sooo good.  i love it.  mark wahlberg's character was a riot.  him i like most of all. 

did something stupid yesterday.  naturally, i had to announce it to the blogging world.

went to the gym yesterday.  i know i don't need the weight loss, but i'm kinda' working on my back.  plus, i really think stepmaster's fun.  seriously.  eniweiz, so there i was minding my own business with the machines, when some guy started chatting up.  and i, being the dementedly nice person that i am (yes.  for some reason, i have to be nice and polite unless provoked), would keep on answering his question.  he asked for my name.  i gave it.  he asked for my number.  gave it again.  naturally, he gave his reason for asking.  apparently, he sorotf heads one of the classes there.  something that uses a long stick.  a self-defense thingy is uppose.  i realy have no idea.  i wasn't paying much attention.  i'm only nice and polite on the outside, ya know.  all i remembered was that he'd tell me when they'll have sessions, and that its free.

oh, well.  i could always ignore.

yesterday, i turned 25.  i am now entitled to a quarterlife crisis.  how soon is soon anyway?

it went really well.  i was pretty much functioning with one screw loose the whole night (hm... as opposed to when exactly?).  had been drinking from 6:30 (yep.  i party early) til like around past 11 (that was when the pitcher got empty).  i now have a new fave drink: absolut vanilia.  yumminess!

it was not good that my college friends (cept kutz) couldn't make it   everybody's doing clerckship.  yargh.  but my other friends came.  so yey!  and friends from far away called.  more yey!

before most everybody went home, we went to starbucks BF.  the original plan was tagaytay, but due to something i forgot, hanggang BF lang kami.  major thanks to B for being super nice and driving us there, and even taking my friends to their rides.

i would like to thank whatever possessed me to invite B over.  i'm guessing it's the red wine.  wine has a weird effect on my system.  the invite was so impromptu, and i think i got a little kulet.  eniweiz, good thing he lives pretty close (sortof), so he was able to come.  i was worried kasi at first na he might feel out of place coz he doesn't know anybody, but ays lang pala.  he was cool.  and nadamay sha sa photo-op sesh of my friends.

i think the pictures were great.  i'm narcissistic.  i love having my pictures taken.

i want copies!!!

and i'm really babaw this way, but i adore the fact that B got down from the car when he dropped me off to my house.  or maybe i just adore him, period. hahaha!

weird thought.  i hope i didn't seem like i was flirting with him or something.  he does know i have a sortof thing for him, but i'm still shy...  yep.  i don't really make sense that way.

ooh.  and did i tell you the part where we accidentally kissed *faints dead on the floor*?  seriously.   accident.  it was supposed to be a beso.

but, it was the perfect ending.

last night got me thinking.

do i really  need the headache this would give me?

no i don't.

but do i like him enough to want to put up with whatever consequences fate will dish out?

yes i do.

call me masochistic, but this has been going on for so long, this sitch seems to be one long introduction.  i want to get the climax (pun not intended) out of the way, and move on.  and yes, i do want it.   i want to be able to tell myself, i've been there and everybody was right, it wouldn't freaking work.  but i've tried it.  and it's really not the brightest decision of my life, and yes, maybe it will be too painful after, but it doesn't really matter.  pain is easier to live with than regret.

i've liked him for the longest time.  sure, there had been other guys.  so maybe i could forget about it for a while.  but for whatever reason, when he's there, all the feelings back.

right now, we're in a good safe place being friends.  but i want to take the risk.  how would it end?  i have no idea.  maybe we would stop being friends.  maybe it will turn out well.  the thing is, i want to find out.

if i act more rational that i am capable of, i would be holding out for something better. yeah, maybe i deserve better.  but i still choose to want you.

i could always be wrong.  maybe i assumed too much.  better stop now then.  i don't want to think about it anymore.

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
 

his has been a ver, ver bad da.

everhing ha could possibl go wrong wen wrong.

for sarers, guess which kes refused o be ped in m keboard.  argh1  so good luck ring o read his enr.

bad luck began his morning.  when we ried o appl for suden's permi.  his is acuall he hird ime i appl for he pas 3 ears.  all of a sudden, heir asking me for a in somehing.  wh???  do ou need o be a axpaer jus o be allowed o drive????  i's supid and irrelevan.

hopefull, we can fix i b om.  and nex week sars m driving hing.

i wrie suck.  i will sop na. 

i am officially on vacation.  as of 4:30 pm anyway.  still have tutor to go to.  my 4-year old tutee(?)'s mom still wants a session for later.  yargh!  not that i should be complaining.  i need the money for laguna trip.  yey!  have the itinerary all planned out.  it's a 3-day trip, so mamatay kami sa kasawaaan sa isa't isa. hehehe...  we go to a beach resort in Laguna, then Piit (what the hell is it i have no idea.  i'm guessing another water form. hehe), Buruwisan Falls, Lanzones Falls (coz there's plenty of lanzones???) and lastly Mt. romelo.  sounds like a lot of physical activity... hopefully i'll still be able to deal with screaming kids on monday. 

speaking of kids, i'm sure gonna' miss my kids next year when i resign from work next year.  where else can i find a dozen people who adores me and loves me and believes that my word is law?  ok, so they're midgets.  but they're sweet adorable little people. *sigh*

my page needs fixing.  help!!!

i'm taking driving lessons this week.  yey me!  hopefully i do learn how.  i'm trying manual.  good luck!  matic i'm havng a difficult time as it is.  i have no space perception!  distance is vague.  yikes!

wish me luck.