isn't it fun when you suddenly find out that people you know actually know other people you know from the other lives they've had that did not include you? 

um... did that in any way make sense?

had dinner and coffee (which was supposed to be alcohol dammit! but we realized too late we wanted alcohol... and some of us actually had to work the next day... only we ended up leaving the next day so the alcohol wouldn't have mattered at all anyway, right???) last night with hawaii friend and met her other friends from wherever coz she was maximizing her time and going chopsuey.  two were my high school classmates (we were all high school friends actually), one of which i haven't seen for 8 years now; one was her before-neighbor who turned out to be my classmate before in gradeschool, only i forgot about her coz i have major memory loss issues like that; another was her college friend whom i have never met before my whole life, but ended up swaping boy stories with all night (bonding grabe!); and, another from highschool who accidentally just dropped buy and ended up buying all of us another round of coffee, which we think he secretly spiked coz conversation suddenly turned R-18 after that.

i think i smoked way too much too coz my throat's suddenly all sore again and cough-y.  yeah, contrary to my very misleading nick in this blog, i rarely ever smoke (only when there's alcohol or caffeine in my system), and i usually quit after 3 sticks coz i kinda' start losing oxygen in my brain after.

so because of last night, we now get 20% discount whenever we ever decide to eat at italiannis, really nice make-up freebies (which i hardly wear at all coz i just really don't know how but is great anyway coz it's such a classy brand and it's free ya'know), a place to crash in baguio, and major savings when we do decide to travel.

speaking of travel (this would be the time when i would be plugging in some guy i have been sortof dating intermittently since forever whom i think i've sortof casually mentioned before in waaaay previous posts only i'm to tamad to link coz i forgot na where, and the previous statement, although in every way true, was in actuality just a sortof intro to this), uno has been picking on me since early last year, but more so now, to go out of the country with him for a few days in any asian country of my choice.  this would actually be fun and good if it wasn't with him.  did that make me sound evil?  i think i just don't want to be with anyone in any place i can't walk out on; and it's hard to walk out in a strange new place when you have no sense of direction whatsoever.  i always need my escape route handy, just in case.  yeah, i'm awfully wired weird that way.

picked up on something totally new way for me to travel: backpacking hostels.  should be fun to try (especially since after i found out that they actually have pretty decent bathrooms you don't have to share with everyone in the whole place... just the other occupants in your room).

FIREFLY is another series by Joss Whedon (Buffy the vampire slayer?  ring any bell?).  it didn't last very long though.  just one season (stupid network shits! hmp.), but it's one of my fave series of all times (ok so i don't really watch alot... so this one of the few i actually did).

short background: this is kinda' like futuristic meets cowboy era.  it's how many years into the future, and the biggest nations left are US and China.  so most of the people actually knows chinese too; although it's mostly used as cuss words.  and the people have expanded to other planets.  they made other planets habitable through a process called "terraform-ing".  these planets are governed by one body called the Alliance.  so the Alliance is basically the central government.  of course, the central government is a nosy government and is all about control and knowing what's best for the people and into promoting world peace and all that crap.  and as with real life, a group of people are of course against Alliance.  they are the Independents.  the Independents, as their name implies, wants people to be left alone.  so there was a war.  and the Independents lost.  turning point was in the valley of Serenity.

 Captain Malcolm Reynolds and Zoe Washburn

Capt Malcolm Reynolds, the leader of the Independents in Serenity valley, and  Zoe Washburn, his second-in command were the last two people who fought the good fight and lost.  so Capt. Mal decided to stop playing soldier boy and bought himself a firefly-class spaceship, which is basically a transport cargo ship so it has lots of nooks and crannies good for uh.. transporting cargoes.

ideal for their nefarious activities which includes smuggling rations, medicines, cows, and wobbly-headed dolls; and carrying two wanted-by-the law siblings, Simon and River Tam.

 River Tam and Dr. Simon Tam

 Dr Simon Tam, is a bright doctor (think Doogie Houser, MD), who saved his sister, River (a psychic child prodigy who can hang on the ships ceiling with a split and shoot targets accurately without looking, with bouts of borderline insanity).  the story revolved mainly on what River knows, which she couldn't really tell them coz she's slightly unstable, that the alliance is willing to kill them for.  so it's alot of running and smuggling and figuring things out. 

naturally, the ship needs a crew.  the pilot is  "wash", short for washburn.  nobody really said his full name in the series, but i'm pretty sure he has one.

"Wash"

Wash here is an excellent pilot with a mild fascination with playing dinosaurs, and is married to zoe, which is kinda' like whoa!  coz seriously zoe looks like a man.  wash calls her his warrior woman.  pretty much like xena i'm thinking.

 Kaylee Frye

then the ship's mechanic is Kaylee Frye, sweet funny girl who likes frills and fruits and Simon (in no particular order).  funny story, she wasn't supposed to be the mechanic, it was supposed to be the boyfirend, who turned out to be dumb, so they took her instead coz she speaks machine.  oh wait.  the funny part was she was first seen by mal sex-ing the bf, and solved the problem in the engine room while she was down on the floor looking up. eh???

 Jayne Cobb

next we have the muscle, Jayne Cobb, who is definitely just all beef.  a trained ape minus the training.  he likes the money and is fun to watch when holding a big stick.  he actually has a town named after him, jaynestown, which is really quite surreal.  he doesn't trust the Tams, mainly because River can kill him with her mind. 

now not everyone in the ship is really part of the crew.  they have two paying customers as well.  people who ride the serenity in their own free will for business.

 Inara Serra

Inara Serra, the gorgeous companion.  in our world, a high-class over-priced but legal whore.  the closest i could think of this at this time is mistress, only with mistress-training, so the wiles and the guiles galore.   in that time period, being a companion is not only legal, it's also a respectable profession.  slightly ironic, but she's the only real business class type aboard the ship.  also, capt. mal's romantic thingie, only mal is such a dense, dense man with the inability to make a pass, so there's alot of sparks and frustrations aboard.

 Shepherd Book

and last would be Shepherd Book, who is a pastor of sorts.  he used to be an alliance soldier, but became a pastor for reasons that were never discussed in the series.  kinda' boring except the part where River tried to correct his bible for him.

basically that's it for the series.  it was wrapped up in the movie version, Serenity, which i should be talking about too only i'm tamad.

first day of work and where was i? 

home getting sick. 

my body is naturally bulimic.  i overate last night, and i've been puking it out all morning.  oh, wait.  too much info?  oops!

finally got the rest of the pics from ails from last christmas.  remembered the waiter in cascada that they (take not: they means i'm not included. hehehe) were tripping on coz i told them he looks alot like ex.  

compare:

this would be the waiter.

(hopefully, the red tint makes this unrecognizable in real life. hahaha!) 

 this would be ex.

(kinda' looking alot chinkier than normal though) 

oh di ba?  long-lost relative? hehehe... of course they were pretending to take pics of the shiny hanging thingies when they took the shot.  in fairness, believable naman.  although it was slightly embarrassing.   my friends are attached to their cams, and we're all cam-whores.  sooo, makes for good fun.

i have stupid question:

is commitment and exclusivity mutually exclusive? 

so another day of not working.

lech.  i'm coming back to work tom though, so... yey!

so i haven't been really eating for the past two days, and know what i remembered?

way back in college... around 3rd year.  we had this md-prof for orthopedic with the nicest slide show.  i forgot his name, but i've heard he's really good ortho surgeon in PGH.  so, he likes to tell stories when he lectures, complete with visual aids.

story 1:

patient was coming home from wherever drunk.  he was passing by a bridge.  he looked over.  slipped and fell.  rolled down the side of the whachamacalit.  things did not stop there.  he was a little dazed but he managed to stand and walk a little further.  then when he thought he's back in bed, he lay down and slept.  next morning, he woke up in the hospital, both legs amputated.  apparently, he slept over the railroad tracks.

true story! by the md anyway...  but you'd be surprised how many stupid accidents there are really.

story 2:

once again with drunk guy.  this time, drunk guy decided to go to work drunk.  he works as a meat grinder person.  the one who operates the machine i presume.  and as fun would have it, he decided to put his hand in the meat grinder while turned on. ta-da!  instant amputation. 

MORAL OF THE STORY:

do not leave wherever you are when drunk unless with someone slightly more sober.  go not at work, but preferably stay in bed.  and sleep.  or have fun.  as long as it's a real bed with no machine operatable thingamajigs around. hehe...

so now i'm craving for corned beef... 

ok, so it was a bad idea to start working today.  there is a reason why i'm called a physical therapist. phy-si-cal.  to think today's an easy day coz i only have 4 kids.  translation: 4 hours of work.  but nooo...  apparently, not eating for the last 2 days made it extra hard (duh!).  shet.  ibang energy level pala to maintain a certain level of perkiness my kiddies are used to.  i must be really hyper on my normal days.

the thing is when i get sick, i get really picky with food.  i don't eat certain food for reasons i cannot justify (except that it makes me want to puke).  actually, i only want apples.

"picky.  picky.  kaartehan mo.  wala ka namang taste."

-a comment by kutz sometime between today and the first time i met her. 

i just forgot what exactly she was referring to (you get it). 

so i told everyone in clinic i was absent coz of eating bad food the night before monday, but not before i tried to pass it off as morning sickness to pen and j.

pen: anong morning sickness, kulang ka nga sa secks eh.

gagu.

i did miss my kids much though, especially my little brit (coz i'm bad with the favoritisms like that).  he's just really adorable.  he snuggles up to you when you're sitting cross-legged.  you know, tries to wiggle his way to lie down in that space formed by your legs.  cutie.

seems like i spent the whole day half-asleep.  i missed my mid-day and afternoon nap time.  i may need to nap now... 

so now that i'm over this whole bb thing (seriously), i have finally managed to put things in perspective.

we can't talk now.  after the initial "hi, hellos", there just wasn't any lift off.  and you know what, that's how things really are.  one long dead space.  it's not coz he's different now, which was what i used to believe.  he's the same person with the same everything, only we don't have it anymore.  we've been doing well for so long because there's this thing.  sort of like an anticipation of things to happen, and things we could do.  so when we finally made the move to go through the whole shebang.  anticipation over.  game over.  we've done the thing, we've hanged, and now it's time to move to the next phase.  only in our case, there is no next phase.  that was it.  so really, there's nowhere else to go.  i don't think we liked each other enough to want us to be in a relationship.  sure i liked him something major, but i couldn't trust him.  pause.  he cheats on his girlfriends.  pause longer...  ok stop laughing now.  i had firsthand knowledge of him cheating on consecutive girlfriends with me.  i said stop laughing!  sure i didn't act out on it the first time.  i was young, into doing the right thing, and much much less into the sins of the flesh.  (yes, there was a time when i was less evil).  point is, i can't be with someone i can't trust (same issues with ex, different story).  as for him, i know he has his own reasons too for not wanting things to step up (such as my being a fickle, obsessive drama queen with major ex-issues, but i'm just guessing here, i really don't know).  bottomline, there is no up for us.  no next level.  there's really nowhere for things to go but, well, end.

generally though, i'm still happy we acted out on our less-than-better instincts.  it's hard living with regret you didn't do shit, and the irrational thought in your (my) head that we might be perfect.  honestly, there was something perfect there, just not a whole lot beside. 

friend: "so who's the new thing?"

moi: "yun."

friend: "sha?! but he's gay!"

moi: "sa pagkakaalam ko hindi naman."

friend: "well, he looks gay! at the least bi.  yuck! you made out with a gay, dude!"

moi: "hmm... i'm acting out my lesbian tendencies so i won't need to turn to the dark side." LOL

side note: i have nothing against whatever sexual orientation. kebs kebs lang.  

asked my kiddies to go up and stay in the toddler's class for the remainder of the time.  they have aircon kasi and this really nice "bed" place with curtains. (hehehe).  after they finished their work, i let them stay on the bed with me.

"teacher, can we touch the toys/pillows?" 

o di ba, i was happy how nice they are.

"sure, you can."

after 2 minutes...

"pillow fight!!!"

panalo! 

so, i'm thinking i haven't done the short-attention-span posts which rambles aimlessly about nothing in particular, and jumps to the next without actually establishing any point whatsoever.  (yeah i know, sometimes i use words that are just redundant, or plain is-topid.)

been checking and re-checking and re-checking again and again college kiddies' papers.  mahn!  it's hard to be black and white with these people.  there's just too many thought (some of them strange), and re-considerations of answers have been keeping me up all night.  something else ought to be keeping me up all night.  dammit!  hahaha!  normal na nga eh...

want to make my sam, my doggie, a mommy now, so had her mate with another dog from where we got her.  there had been problems though.  HUGE problems.  apparently, my doggie's fat.

hey! who ya callin' fat, fatty???

so the male doggies don't like her.  boo!  bad dogs!  owner said they only like their bitches slim.  hmp! you're paying for my sammie's therapy!  yes, we're very sensitive that way.

don't you just hate people who text back with "k"?  just that. i mean, seriously, is it too hard to type in two letters? "ok" is not hard.  or smiley face!  i'm not sure exactly what about it i hate, i just can't stand it.  talk about irrational.

one of the parents of former student in preschool needed a tutor.  one of her kids go the special school i'm in, so i suggested they call preschool.  mommy did, and told t. babs (tee-hee!) that she spoke with "yung cute na small teacher na nasa learning center"

"what big eyes you have?"

"the better to see you with, my dear." 

(referring to me. slow!)  naks! apparently, i'm small and cute. o t. babs wag mag-deny. LOL.

i'm scrapbook-ing again.  i blame the people from preschool.  BI!  now i'm hunting for my old stationaries.  did you use to do that when you were kiddies?  i used to collect stationaries and trade them with my friends.  i would buy a pack, and keep trading the sheets (better for trading if with envelopes!); and i never did figure out what to use them for 'cept for collecting.  well, at least now i know.

i used to have this bad habit (among all my other bad habits) of collecting stuff.  i still have small notes and knick knacks given to me by grade school classmates.  i was going through them letters, when i saw one from a classmate greeting me with a happy anniversary.  hmm... i had no idea i had a girlfriend then.  strange.

so i'm sure you've heard the thing about the ayala bombing, which wasn't really a bombing but was a perfect example of stupidity gone tragic.  pointless pointless death.

reminds me of the time the car flew off the skyway, and killed a few passengers in a jeepney.  cause of death: nahulugan ng car on the expressway. 

remember how there was a time before there was a skyway when an airplane mistook the south super highway as a landing strip?  cause of death: nahulugan ng airplane on the expressway.

i therefore conclude, we should always look up when crossing the highway. 

so last night was really fun.  will write and post pics at another time. just killing the minutes right now til the parents get home and go off someplace else.

i've been trying to not online really late anymore coz i don't want to see ex online.  i'm still not ok with the whole being threatened thing.  not seeing him online means less temptation to talk.  i'm very bad with resisting urges (i think bb could attest to that). 

plus the road to doing normal does not include him.

finally got the med cert done.  stupid redundant check ups.  i think i'm resigning from the college.  i don't deal well with the red tape shits.

                                    "wag na lang kaya ako sumweldo ayoko na makita mga tao sa HR eh." 

seriously.  seriously.

so the whole i'm leaving on a jetplane (ok... exag hindi jetplane, more like economy) may be coming very soon.  not sure how soon though.  

i've brushed my teeth three times already and i'm still paranoid that i can smell yosi on my breath.  well, actually i couldn't.   but you know when you're mouth's closed and it seems to smell like yosi air, although you don't actually smell it smell it.

i never really worked for a large company.  small time lang ako eh.  maybe that's why i'm super pissed with the red tape and all the rules and shits that college is giving me right now. 

so i went with the parents to enchanted kingdom (oh, di ba? san ka pa! at this weather?!) coz it's my dad's day and they have this work fun day of sorts.  they had this amazing race game, which my dad did not want to join, so i subbed for him instead.  tiring fun!  not to mention wet (get stuck ba naman in the ferris wheel and roller skates while it's raining).  we've been going round and round the whole place, riding the rides, and doing the tasks. 

soooo, feeling close with people who's name i can't even remember.  yikes!  and to think i spent the whole afternoon (1-6pm) with them. 

i will be assuming but i think one of the guys in our group was kinda' interested.  i paired up with him during the bump car (which i obviously did not drive, i was passenger/moral support!).  afterwards, he would sortof' hang back and wait for me or something.  i walk alone.  i don't feel like sticking to anyone in the group kasi.  alone in the crowd ang drama. yuck noh?  so, there.  i make it a point to avoid him though.  he looks too nice with his pearly white teeth (lol).  it's not that i don't like guys who are too nice.  i think they're great.  but they usually go for sugary spice and everything nice.  i am not that girl.  i'm bad news.  i'm all screwy in the head and cold.  i just don't look like it i guess with all the girly bits and the pretending to be a people-person.  it's called compensation.

i discovered something.  if you actually have a task to do while doing the scary rides, it doesn't seem scary at all.  but of course, nobody could force me to ride anchors away regardless. 

1.  girls with those awesome balik-ayos hairs.  ok i admit, i'm a little envious, my hair has a life of its own and will never ever be smooth, straight and silky.  but seriously, have you never heard of clip?  or at least hold it down so it doesn't whip into your seatmate's face?  it's itchy and it hurts the eyes.  when i'm feeling slightly evil, and the girl didn't take a hint with my very annoyed "excuse me's", i give it a little tug before pushing it off my face.

2.  guys who can't sit with their legs together.  how big is that thing between your legs that you can't keep it together?  puh-leez.

3.  jeepney drivers who insist on fitting 18 people in a 16-person space.  do we look like gumby?  and they even have the audacity to blame big passengers.  if your passenger's small do you charge less?

4.  drivers who park it at the middle of the road while waiting for passengers.  does the service road look like your personal garage?   you do notice the long line of cars honking behind you to move it.  do not even have the decency to find a spot where you won't clog the already small road.  their excuse: "naghahanap buhay lang."  baket, kami ba walang karapatang maghanap buhay?  you.  are.  on.  the.  way.

5.   people who sit obliquely, and get annoyed when you ask them to move.  sit properly!  so you won't be asked to move.

6.  people with huge bags who sit at the end.  yes let's clog the way for the people to get in.  why not?

high blood! 

1.  planetarium.  seriously.  i have never been there!  i missed the grade three field trip when i was little.  it's actually pretty easy to get there from where i'm from every fridays, but dragging someone in is the problem.  arm twisted A before to go there with me; unfortunately, gf shit fell from the sky and we kinda' stopped talking before we actually went there.

2.  zoo-bic!  one word: tigers.

3.  avilon zoo.  i know!  what's up with the zoo trips, right?  my three-year old psyche just couldn't get enough of it really.

4.  calaruega.  it's been a planned trip with the dili girls, which hasn't materialized til now.  impromptu road trip to tagaytay did not leave us enough time to go there.  plus, the rain.

5.  corregidor day trip.  it's just one of those historical/touris-y trips i usually trip on for no reason whatsoever 'cept that i've never been there.

6.  vigan!  been there once a couple of years ago. small gorgeous place which will bore me to death  if i stay for more than two days.  it is that small.  but i love the whole city is centered around the plaza with the church at the center, and all the restos and street food vendors around a-lurking.  of course, the place is pretty far.  soo hard to go to.

7.  sagada.  but i say no to caves. 

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

just had to share:

got feedback from college kiddies.  love letter ang mga ito. hahaha!  funniest thing i've read: i'm shy.  

no.  seriously.

they said i am shy.

funny little kids.  i have never been called shy for... like, ever. 

mapagpanggap. 

heath ledger died last wednesday.

they say it was accidental sleeping pill overdose.

this may sound mean, but first thing that came to mind was, is he really stupid or just suicidal?

funny how my friends have been sending me condolences. i had no idea our was an open secret affair.

been crushing on him since 10 things about you. loved him especially in kights tale (can you say ideal??). and he was still pretty in four feathers and cassanova although a bit forgettable. i never watched brokeback though so, cant relate. but i will be seeing him as the joker soon.

know why it's not nice to pass on to a friend a guy you've previously dated? coz you compare notes. which really sucks for the guy (especially when...).
then again, he scored. what's so sucky about that?

-------------------------------------

i think this is one of those entries which i need my ever handy disclaimer for.

so, uh... i disclaim. (is there even such a word??)

my net is ok again!  wohoo! 

i have been wasting my days on this:

it's called farm frenzy.  i know it doesn't look much, but it's so very much fun.  there's the ducks and the sheep and cows whose produce you have to collect, process and sell to the market; dogs and cats to help; and bears to make life way difficult. 

and scrap-booking (i will post when i feel like uploading cam pics).

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

talked with ex.

that is never good.

he said i go by this "if it's not broken, don't fix it" thing.  so true.  explains too much of my dramas.  the fixation with staying in the comfort zone.  needing a good ass-kick to get moving.  the need for major to handle change.  i know.  i have too many issues.  oddly enough, i always feel like he's the only one who gets me.  so sad.

i hate it when he's right. 

and he's been giving me a crash course in stockmarket 101.  his new thing. ho-hum...

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

i'm going to far, far away pretty soon. 

for about 2-3 weeks actually. 

that means 2-3 weeks of beaches galore!  woo-hoo! 

of course there would still be some work to be done, which i will seriously get into.  but still thoughts of weeks in the beach with friends is still keeping me high.

oh my! my tummy needs some work.