Being the girl on the side takes a lot of idiocity, but it's definitely exciting.  What with all the sex and the drama, who wouldn't find it fun?  Sometimes though, don't you think you can do less with the drama, and just go for the normal?

Disclaimer:  I am not bitter.  I've had my share of men in a relationship with someone else, but for reasons I would not elaborate on, I seemed to still have a good relationship with them.  Good not meaning we still have the thing going on, but good meaning, we are still talking and civil and sum-kinda' like friends.  The thing with ex was different.  I was never the girl on the side.  I was this girl.

But over it.  I am now happy with the status, so there.

Now, if you're really interested in being the woman on the sidelines, let me disillusion you.  Wouldn't you rather get into such things knowing full well what you just jumped into?

The most common thing I've heard from women in this situation is this line:  "I'm the one he really loves me, he just doesn't know how to break up with his current."  That's bullshit.

How hard can it be?  "Uh... honey, I'm with this other girl now, so let's break up. Kthxbye"

Think of it this way, if he really loves you, he would WAIT until he cleans up (kicking the gf of the scene) before actually making a move on you.  It shows respect.  Not just for the soon-to-be ex-gf, but also for you. 

When you get into this sort of thing, get into it knowing just what the hell you actually signed up for.  This is not a possiblity of commitment.  This is that state where you're less than the gf, but more than a fubu.

Some girls say, the only difference is the commitment, better yet, the lack of it.  Maybe.  But that does not give you the excuse to start raining down the drama on the guy because you were trying to comepete with the gf for attention, etc.  There is a commitment with the gf.  You may not like commitment, but it does have its perks.  The commitment entails that he spends time with the gf, and do the normal things couples do.  You on the other hand, don't have that.  If he suddenly gets too busy with work, or from spending time with the girl, you'd better keep your mouth shut, and stop complaining.  You willingly got yurself into this situation, learn to deal with the crap that goes with it.

Another thing, do not expect monogamy.  You have got to be kidding me.  You are the girl on the sidelines, if that does not scream I-don't-know-how-to-be-monogamous, I don't know what else does.

The thing is, if your goal is to get the guy for yourself, and get him to commit with you, you have to keep remembering how you started in the first place.  Sure some guys can change, but don't assume this for a fact.  A few months down the road, and you may be the gf some other girl would be bitching about with your bf.

If, however, you still think you're up to getting into this sort of thing, remember one thing: love yourself more.  Always.  Regardless.