CQ, the friend I stayed with last summer, finally got her US citizenship!  First agenda of the family was to go to London to visit a family friend.  Couldn't say I'm not envious.  The chance to travel anywhere without the hassle of getting visa is sure one great perk.

And you know what's another great stop from UK?  Amsterdam!  The family plans to stay in London for about 2 weeks.  I'm sure they'd want to take a break from the gloomy London skies, and get some city breaks in amsterdam.  Amsterdam, home to Rembrant, Van Gogh and Ann Frank.  The place reeks of charm and quaintness and art.

Exterior view of the Museumplein (photo by Arie de Leeuw)

One of the places I would surely visit would be the Museumplein (Museum Square), made up of the Rijkmuseum, Van Gogh Museum, Stedelijk Museum, House of Bols Cocktail & Genever Experience and Coster Diamonds, among other things.

The thing is, there are actually some online places where you can get amsterdam city breaks for a relatively small fee.  I checked how much it would cost for one person to go there from London and stay for three nights, and saw that the cheapest rate sums up to £604 (around 1,000 USD).  That already covers both flight and accommodations for a bed and breakfast hotel.

Goes to show, amsterdam short breaks should really be a part of your UK travel.

The latest in my zombie movie addiction.  After 2 more movies, I promise to move on to things prettier than the undead flesh-eaters.

Finally got to watch

FIDO is actually one of those feel good movies.. only with zombies.  In a parallel universe, radiation from space made the dead come to life, which was bad.  Hence, came the zombie wars.  Fortunately the lumbering undead, those many in number were killed off by the the superior living force.  As with most zombie movies, a shot in the head does the trick.  Because radiation is still ever present in athe atmosphere, one of the leading corporations, Zomcom, fences the living human community and hands out colras to domesticate zombies for slavery of the general public.  You can now buy your very own zombie slave to do your beck and call.  Story revolved around little Timmy who made friends with his zombie, and named him Fido.

The plot was simple, the story fun.  Not much in the blood and gore department.  Not compared to the other zombie movies previously watched, but it's alot funny.  Oldish set makes it pretty quaint.

CEMETERY MAN stars Rupert Everett as the cemetery caretaker, and together with a mentally-handicapped friend, Gnaghi, they kill off the undead with shots or shovels on the head.  Both fell in love with a zombie.  Delamorte (Everett) is forever haunted by the memories of "she", the girl he loved so many times in the movie.  It's one of those funny, strangely romantic (girl has penis phobia, he asks a doctor to cut his off), and a little sad movie with alot of death, guns, sex, and of course, zombies.

So apparently, aside from the booming nursing industry, other fields in medical careers are also getting some piece of the action.  One of which is sonography, whose people are known as ultrasound technicians.  You thought it had something to do about bats didn't you?

I'm not sure if this career option is actually open here in the Philippines, or if we even have ultrasound schools, but apparantly they have it in the US.  Then again, they also have PT assistants and PT aides there, both things we sure could use in the clinic/hospitals most of the time, but are apparently lacking. 

Nice to know: sonography schools offer specialization, which is slightly made of "wow".  I had no idea their job could be so complicated.

I know what I am.  I am sunshine and moonbeams and rainbows, and possibly some acidic drizzle.  I like things shiny and sparkly and fun.  I may be twisted and strange on the inside, but i am never dark and angsy.  Yes I do have my occasional rant-a-thons, and some anger mangement issues; but it comes in short bursts, very much easily diffused and forgotten. 

I have no idea why I'm even ranting about all this here, except probably to say that I'm happy, and I shouldn't be made to feel bad about it.

fuck.

It's so easy to hurt me. 

I never make a fuss, and I don't make people feel guilty.

September-october has always been my lowest months.  Forget that october is my birthday. My birthday usually sucks anyway.

It's the time of the year when I get sick, and when I get bored with my life.  I need something new. 

I'm going through the motions (again). 

I feel detached.  I need to reconnect.

Thinking is hard.  It requires too much effort.  It's during these months that I understand why I don't work in an office.  Why I don't chain myself to a 4x4 cubicle with AC the whole day. 

The fact that the bestfriend is leaving, and I don't know when I'll see her next, is pretty much depressing me too.  She's the bestfriend who stuck around my psycho year-long episode of alienating everyone I knew, for fucked up reasons. I'm trying very hard not to go mental again, and raise those defense mechs that kept going up whenever someone leaves. 

I'm struggliing here.  I'm pretending to be normal, and it's taking it's toll. 

I want my reality break now.

For as long as I can remember, I have been writing papers left and right.  Usually for school.  No, wait, mostly for school.  There were the grade school book reports and research papers, high school book reports (again), more research papers, some analysis of whatnots, essays, and theme papers.  Then, came college, which was pretty much the same as high school for the first two years.  The last two years of college were devoted to a diferent kindof writing -evaluation papers, which unfortunately, is harder to bullshit through.  Graduate school led to more complicated and more extensive writing, and an amazingly high amount of reading material to boot (although not as much as what we had to read through back in college).

Did you know that you could've actually had it easier way back then?  I meant just with the writing stuff of course.  You could have actually had a research paper done by a pro.  For a fee of course.  I'm sure, the offer of custom writing would have been very, very tempting during those days of stress and toxicity.  If you have the cash, why not right?  On the downside however, writing for yourself is also a learning experience.  Most papers you had to write requires your personal opinion on the subject matter.  It's hard to submit a paper, created by a total stranger, full of ideas which was never mirrored your own.  Doing research also helps you to understand the topics better, than if you had it made by a professional.  Too bad it had to be too hard at times.

Funny how things can sometimes suck (like having really rainy outdoor weather all the freaking time, having most of your orders unavailable or the restos being just closed after you trekked and burned a gazillion calories, and having "ride from hell" when all you wanted was just a good night's sleep), but still become one of the best breaks ever.  I actually think I'm good now from the being in the funk sortof thing. 

It's strange how I'm comfy with the extended silences.  Seriously fine with it.  I used to think you know you're good with a person when you have so much things to talk about you couldn't shut up. But it actually feels just as good to just be sitting there, doing absolutely nothing.

I'm in this place again where I'm absolutely lost, and it may not be a bad place to be in.  Lost is good.  Lost with someone is even better.  Gah! I foresee myself talking mush for the next few days, weeks, I'm not really sure for how long.  Bear with me please.  Given my track record, there will prolly maybe be self-loathing and regrets near the end, but who knows?  There can also be good happy endings where you end up apart, but still be in a good place.  Ending is inevitable.  I get that; but there are plenty of things right in the middle of "once upon a time", and "the end" to make the experience worth having to go through.

I'm going with the flow: hoping for the good but expecting for the end to come just as quick.