I give in.  I still think that if it was shot in color it should stay color, but sometimes I just can't decide.  In this case, I think monochrome is better. 

siguro nga nakaka move on na ko at nasasanay sa pagkawala niya. siguro nga kaya madali na akong makatulog at excited na pag magkikita kami nung isa.. siguro nga talagang panahon nalang makakapagsabi.. it really takes time to heal wounds..

siguro nga ganun nalang yun.

sa totoo feeling ko nakakahiya ako dahil sa mga naramdaman at ikinilos ko..

pero atleast, mas makakapag focus ulit ako sa totoong sa akin..

at hindi na mangarap pag arian pa ang iba..

siguro na..

wag nalang sana siyang

..magpakita ulit.. T_T

There is that one image that never got out of my head since.

It was October 24, the day I actually said the exact line: "I would want to have that kind of love, someday"

It was a very simple view. They were a couple. A girl humming to a Gabe Bondoc song, while a guy, whom I assumed was her boyfriend, caressing her face while slowly brushing his fingers onto her hair and placing her hairstrands into the back of her ear. It was a cute picture. Hence, it was an awkward position for me because I cannot help but stare at them. Well, it was simply because I felt tingly inside, and even was jealous of the girl to have an opposite other as sweet as that. But what was surprising was that they reminded me of someone, especially the guy. Someone I recently met.

That someone I remembered and I had no form of feelings or past flings-- we're simply friends. But I guess the reason why I remembered him is because he did gave me butterflies in my stomach.

He would randomly touch my face, poke my dimple, and even fix my glasses when it seemed crooked on his vision. He gave me hugs each time he sees me, and even gave me straight 50 hugs one day just because. Honestly, it was awkward in my position because recently, prior to my past failure relationships, he was the only guy that has been so bold to me like that. Sometimes he would even hug me on a very still position that I could feel his head onto my shoulder, which I thought was too intimate for just being friends.

Overall, seeing that couple on October 24th made me nostalgic over that friend of mine. I do miss all the sweet acts that he did. Afterall, I am a girl and I crave for all of those pampering and loveydoveys.

I guess I am a sucker and a hopeless romantic after all. SIGH.

it was my fault to make you feel like that.
it was wrong that ive said a lot about you.
it was me who never understands you.
im sorry if im not worth it..

but i love you deep in my heart,
others may come and go,
i know ive been wrong thinking you were not meant for me..
but now, or even in the end...
youre still the one..
youre still the last one standing..

i need you and i love you honey..

im sorry for everything...

please trust me...

So don't bother. ♥

Belated happy 4th month, boyfriend.

I could go back to every laugh
But I don't want to go there anymore and I
know all the steps up to your door
But I don't want to go there anymore
Talk to the wind, talk to the sky
Talk to the man with the reasons why
And let me know what you find

I'll leave my window open
Cause I'm too tired tonight
to call your name
Just know I'm right here hoping
You'll come in with the rain

I could stand up and sing you a song
But I don't want to have to go that far and I
I've got you down, I know you by heart
And you don't even know where I start
Talk to yourself, talk to the tears
Talk to the man who put you here
Don't wait for the sky to clear

CHORUS

I've watched you so long
screamed your name
I don't know what else
I can say

But I'll leave my window open
Cause I'm too tired tonight
for all these games
Just know I'm right here hoping
You'll come in with the rain

I could go back to every laugh
But I don't want to go there
anymore..

i saw a picture of you.. that was taken when i was wondering how are you.. you seem to be perfectly fine and happy while i was there thinking why are you ignoring me.. or if im right, hiding. i dont know why at a glance you stop talking to me, you stop asking hows my day. i wonder what went wrong.. i wonder what did i do?

i havent said anything. yet you still acted that way. what more if i admit how i really feel?

i still cant move one since the last time you made me feel like nothing to you.

i still wonder late at night if i still cross your mind. or if you really stop being concerned.

you said youre my universe and that made me wanna be an astronaut. but now im really lost in space..

where are you? what happened? i never demand anything but to be your friend. just your friend.. whats wrong? i cried myself to sleep thinking why. sometimes i wanted to dial your number just to hear your voice, but im afraid you'll reject me..

i really miss you..

that little span of time isnt really worthy but still, i miss you...

youre still at the deepest part of my heart. just there..

i think i have to hide it.. all my life..

My mom bought me a new pair of jeans. Yey! However, it's size 28! Booo! I know I gained weight but I'm not THAT fat. I think I have to remind my mom that despite my weight gain, I still wear size 25-26 jeans. Tsk, mothers. Sometimes, they tend to exaggerate things a bit

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